Dear Younger Me: How Writing to Your Past Self Can Support Healing

"If I could talk to the girl I used to be, I'd hold her face in my hands and say: You don't have to carry all of this by yourself."
— Anonymous contributor.

Whether you're healing from trauma, living with chronic stress, navigating grief, or simply feeling stuck — you are not alone. This month, we explore a practice rooted in both emotional truth and neuroscience: writing a letter to your younger self.

At first, it might sound abstract. But the act of looking back — not to relive pain, but to reframe it — can be deeply transformative.

What Is a “Dear Younger Self” Letter?

A “Dear Younger Self” letter is a structured reflection exercise where you write directly to a past version of yourself. This could be your 5-year-old self, your 15-year-old self, or even who you were last year. It’s about creating emotional safety in retrospect — and offering your former self the care, truth, or support they may not have received.

These letters might include:

Reassurance: “You were doing your best.”
Correction: “It wasn’t your fault.”
Affirmation: “You’re allowed to take up space.”
Hope: “One day, you will feel peace again.”

The Science Behind Reflective Writing

The value of reflective journaling is more than anecdotal — it’s evidence-based.

Reduces Psychological Distress

Studies show that expressive writing — including trauma-focused journaling — can lead to measurable improvements in anxiety, depression, and PTSD symptoms.

A 2019 meta-analysis in Psychological Bulletin found that people who wrote about difficult experiences for 15–20 minutes a day over four days had significantly better mental health outcomes than control groups.
➤ Frattaroli, 2006
In one study of trauma survivors, writing letters of self-compassion (like “Dear Younger Me” exercises) improved self-worth and decreased shame-related distress.
➤ Shapira & Mongrain, 2010

Supports Emotional Regulation

Neuroscience research shows that putting emotions into words activates the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and regulation, and calms activity in the amygdala, our emotional alarm system.
➤ Lieberman et al., 2007

Enhances Self-Compassion

According to Kristin Neff, PhD, a leading expert in self-compassion, reflecting on one’s pain with gentleness — rather than self-criticism — is strongly linked to greater resilience and motivation, not less.
➤ Neff & Germer, 2013

Examples of Real “Dear Younger Self” Letters

Here are some anonymized, adapted excerpts from letters shared with us by survivors, advocates, and supporters from all walks of life:

Letter to a 10-Year-Old Self

"You are not annoying. You’re not too sensitive. You just feel things deeply — and that’s your superpower. One day, people will come to you for your kindness."

Letter to a Teenage Self in a Toxic Relationship

"It’s not love if it makes you feel small. You are not crazy. Trust the part of you that feels afraid — it’s trying to protect you."

Letter to a 30-Year-Old in Burnout

"You don’t have to prove your worth by doing everything. Rest is not laziness. Saying 'no' doesn’t make you selfish — it makes you wise."

How to Write Your Own Letter

Here’s a quick way to get started:

1. Pick an age

Choose a version of yourself that needed comfort, clarity, or protection.

2. Be specific

Start with a moment or memory. “I remember how you felt on your first day at that job.” or “You kept that secret for so long.”

3. Speak with compassion

Use words you would offer a child, a friend, or someone you care about deeply.

4. Try prompts

“One thing I wish you’d known is…”
“You didn’t deserve…”
“You were right to feel…”
“I’m proud of you for…”

5. Read it back

Many find that reading the letter aloud — or saving it in a journal — can be just as healing as writing it.

What’s Next

Feeling inspired? You can:

📣 Share your letter anonymously: maisonfemme.org/share-your-letter
💜 Post a favorite quote from your letter on social with #DearYoungerMe and tag @MaisonFemmeOrg

Dear Younger Self